Devirgination

Well, my first entry was supposed to be a venting session about the stress that applying to the Simon School of Business put on me, but that never materialized.

Instead, my debut entry will describe my absolutely amazing (sarcasm alert) morning. For future reference, my blog will almost always be comical because I truly have the worst luck of anyone I know and find myself in the most random situations possible.

Also I will surely vent frequently because I'm always stressed. As such posts of that nature may or may not be comical. However, let's get back to this post regarding my commute to work today.

I woke up at around 8:30am having overslept. Instead of getting up I passed back out. I awoke this time at near 9am. I got dressed, grabbed my things and flew out the door. Less than 10 seconds into my commute I am stuck in traffic because of an accident.

Being late, I decided to take a "detour" rather than wait. Now, for those of you who don't know me, I have no sense of direction. And I sincerely mean it, zero ability to tell where I am. While taking off on my backup way to work I quickly found myself in the heart of downtown. I kept looking for a familiar street, building, anything. Unfortunately this did not happen.

I pulled over somewhere to ask for directions (I'm a man but I'm not embarassed to ask for directions, because with my geographical shortcomings I could've spent all day trying to get to work). I thought that the man with his back to me would've been a good person to ask. So, I proceeded to roll down my window and ask "Excuse me sir, do you now how to get to the University of Rochester from here?"

What happened next made me nearly shat my knickers. This older black gentleman turned around, was half cross-eyed, was missing several teeth and pointed in my general direction only to mumble/yell something to the effect of "Muh abablala blahblahabab muh muh!"

My eyes opened as wide as my jaw dropped. I put the window up as fast as humanly possible while simultaneously peeling out and sped away. Yes, I literally peeled out and cut someone off.

Now, this sounds funny, but I swear to God I thought he was going to turn into the Mummy and devour my soul. Or at least cap my ass. The point being, it was an utterly inhuman sound that came from him and I'm lucky to be alive.

As fate would have it, after I cut off some SUV with bling-bling rims, I quickly turned onto some side street that led me to Broad Street. YaY, somewhere I recognized!

Now, I'm safely at work, away from the gang member I cutoff, the demon that tried eat me and have successfully posted (after setting up) my first blog. Woot!